yes. you're right (that is what i meant to, in the first place; but it was never reviewed - thanks for the correction). after all YOU are the poet. :wink: both lines are good but first looks better with a little change in order of words : phandey ki usko haajat, `aajiz ho jiski fitrat; bey jaal tu hai Ghalib, yeh hai kamaal teraa ---
admirer - companion - student. I was unaware of his admiration and following of Syed Ahmed Khan though had inklings of his fondness for him. -- now regarding your sher : phandey ki usko haajat, `aajiz ho jiski fitrat; bey jaal kar de ghalib, woh hai kamaal teraa the first line seems to lay a foundation for describing the Lord Almighty by talking of what He is not like : the second line would be better in sync with the first if it actually talks of Him being overpowering and Ghaalib and not Him making others Ghaalib. both of which are possible. perhaps like phandey ki usko haajat, `aajiz ho jiski fitrat; bey jaal hai tu ghalib, yeh hai kamaal teraa -- phanda na jaal haajat, aajiz nahiN jo fitrat ik kun se chaaye sab par rawb.o.jalaal teraa -- just my 2 cents. was salam --an
as such, there is no point in prolonging, but a few more words won't be out of place. altaf husain hali might be a master of urdu poetry but very poor in aqidah; no wonder he took to fancy sore-sayyid's mendacious interpretations. anyway, he says: phandey se terey kyuNkar jaaye nikal ke koee phailaa huaa hai har soo aalam meiN jaal teraa he means - to the best of my understanding - that your power is spread everywhere; no one can escape your grip. phanda/noose is generally a metaphor to indicate a hunter; or when used negatively, a fraud: hence, 'he laid the noose.' jaal/net/web is another metaphor to indicate a 'catch' or 'in one's power' or 'unable to escape'; birds caught in a net cannot fly away - cannot escape. this is indicated from the first line where an allusion to a hunter is unmistakeable. i was not replacing his lines, rather just criticizing his choice of words: phandey ki usko haajat, `aajiz ho jiski fitrat; bey jaal kar de ghalib, woh hai kamaal teraa since such metaphors are used almost frequently for fraudsters, for mafia like entities, it seemed inappropriate. so i say, one uses a noose when a ruse is required. Exalted is He, from such devices of the weak. and He is Powerful and nothing can escape him - even without nets or bonds. o, the company of men and jinn if you can go out of the ends of heavens and the earth, then [try] and go! wherefore you go, you will find His Kingdom. ---- trivia: hali was a companion/admirer of ghalib. wasn't he?
O, the fact is that he is, and wrote biography, 'Hayat-e-Jawaid, of sir syed ahmed khan, and defended his profanations
asak, the couplet in question : phandey se terey kyuNkar jaaye nikal ke koee phailaa huaa hai har soo aalam meiN jaal teraa the meaning that I understood - and this is my understanding - is that this couplet uses the imagery of phanda and jaal to explain the concept of trials and tribulations that are pre-ordained in one's destiny. the first line of the verse, even though equates the tribulations to a phanda per se, yet there is the complete submission to these tests by means of the question asked as the poet bows to the will of the almighty by saying "kyuNkar, jaaye nikal ke koee". further the second line of the verse further strengthens the conviction of the poet that even if he were to try to run away from his share of trials then he would be caught as what is his share will be his - as the world is but a place of test. You shall certainly be tried and tested in your wealth and properties (Al-Imraan: 186). I dont rememeber where I read this but : a first stage of slavehood is when one does not submit to the tests and the will of the almighty and complains to everyone about it. a second stage is it a higher state of eeman where one acknowledges that its a test and submits and practices sabr in times of difficulties. a third and a much higher state is where one practices sabr in the difficulties and submits deeming it as his share of the divine will, to the extent that one bears it and does not call it a tribulation in his own heart- I thing the couplet has not reached the third ,more desirable stage and is in the second stage. and I am not presenting an apology for the poet - I posted this Hamd initially and I thought that I should explain how I understood the verse in question as I deemed it right for you to read. I do see your point that one should not use the words of "phanda and jaal" though in the general sense wrt allah azza wa jall. was salam
Salam, Me too not a poet but what I see is that you've used the words 'phannda' and 'jaal' in your couplet but they do not communicate the same meaning that Moalana Hali wants to express. I cannot comment on molana's couplet,for I'm nowhere near to any level to be able to comment on a master of Urdu poetry, but I think mystical peotry of some great sufis has (outwardly) more unfitting words than molana Hali's couplet.
i don't think the line: 'phanda and jaal' are of befitting to speak about the Lord Almighty. though i am no poet i came with these lines: phandey ki usko haajat, aajiz ho jiski fitrat; bey jaal kar de ghalib, woh hai kamaal teraa
