Arranged Marriages

1. They don't work. People - educated people at least - want a partner who is their equal. People often end up divorced or staying together in misery. Its an outdated model.
2. What cant you understand about bf/gf. Most people if they were honest want one and only those with no game turn to arranged marriage as a last resort. Its natural.
3. I think such maulwis don't belong in the West.
4. The cost of living is very high in the Wrst and although no one is starving marriage is expensive.
as for my beliefs that's no ones business save my own and certainly not yours!

 

1. They don't work. People - educated people at least - want a partner who is their equal. People often end up divorced or staying together in misery. Its an outdated model.
2. What cant you understand about bf/gf. Most people if they were honest want one and only those with no game turn to arranged marriage as a last resort. Its natural.
3. I think such maulwis don't belong in the West.
4. The cost of living is very high in the Wrst and although no one is starving marriage is expensive.
as for my beliefs that's no ones business save my own and certainly not yours!

 

Hello naqshabandi it's good to finally meet you on this forum!

Before mentioning some points regarding the flaws in your present statement on marriage, why haven't you bothered answering past insecurities regarding your beliefs?

A few contentions regarding your present statement:

1)
what makes you believe that arrange marriages are no good? What exactly is your definition of arranged and why is it detrimental?

2)
As for your point about boyfriend/girlfriend......

its jumbles. What on earth are you saying? I utterly don't understand.
Maybe someone may clarify your comments.

3)
I hope your comment about only a few "maulwis" practising segregation isn't sarcastic regarding those maulwis. Do you agree with their ways? If not Please elaborate

4) I do agree with you that integration is prevented when marrying from back home. But I believe that's mainly when a British girl marries a desi guy. Not when a British boy marries a desi girl. For the most part.

Finally just a closing remark: marriage isn't a burden. It's full of baraka if carried out properly in accordance with the pristine sunnah.
It brings baraka to ones rizq and income also. So those people with improper pay must consider this. Especially here in the uk. That is absolutely no excuse really. It's just materialistic thought processes that has overcome us all here. Because everyone's sorted financially in England.

 

i think that arranged marriages are dying out rapidly in the third generation of british muslims (mostly it only south asian muslims who have them anyway) and its good thing. the only people who still want them are those who can't find a gf or bf or their folks won't let them marry their gf/bf (usually because it is a non-desi)*. most people under 25 dont want arranged marriages any longer. yes, they work in societies that practise strict segregation but arent suited to the modern world esp. in Europe. The other point is no one practises segregation of the sexes anymore except a few maulvis.

also, arranged marriages to spouses from overseas prevent the integration of the british muslim -- esp. british pakistani - community into the mainstream of uk society.

* why do so many British Muslims prefer to go out with non-Muslim girls or british born girls rather than girls from 'back home' or overtly pious girls? the answer is obvious...

p.p.s parents often want their son/daughter to marry their cousin from indo-pak-bangladesh and the children don't want to anymore or only rarely. so they keep delaying and delaying. also, the fact is that people want careers and so are delaying settling down till well into their 30s now. especially with the recent financial crisis, where many people don't have jobs. in such a situation why burden yourself with the added burden of a wife and family?