Rights of parents

Discussion in 'Translations' started by Aqdas, Apr 4, 2019.

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  1. Aqdas

    Aqdas Staff Member

    The rights of a father upon his children are immense and those of a mother are even more. Sayyidah Ayishah رضي الله عنھا narrates: I asked RasulAllah ﷺ: who has most right over a woman? He said, her husband. And who has most rights over a man? He said, his mother. [Musnad Bazzar, Mustadrak Hakim]

    A man came to RasulAllah ﷺ and asked: who has most right that I treat them well? He said, your mother. He asked again and RasulAllah ﷺ again replied, your mother. The third time again, your mother. Then he said, your father. [Bukhari, Muslim]

    But this means that he gives precedence to his mother over his father in servitude, e.g. he has Rs.100 and there is no specific reason to not give superiority to his mother, then he should give Rs.25 to his father and Rs.75 to his mother. Or when mother and father ask for water simultaneously, he give his mother to drink first then his father. Or if they both return from a journey, he massage her feet first then his father's, and so on.

    And not that if the parents have a disagreement, the child favours the mother such that, Allah forbid, the father is hurt or that the child is harsh towards him! Or answers him back or talks to him disrespectfully whilst looking him in the eye. All these things are haram and disobedience to Allah. And there is no obedience to either mother or father in disobeying Allah. So he is not permitted whatsoever to side with either the mother or the father. They are both his heaven and hell. Whoever he harms, he deserves hellfire for it, Allah save us.

    There is no obedience to anyone in disobeying the Creator. E.g. the mother wishes that he somehow causes hurt to his father and he doesn't obey her so she becomes displeased, let her be! He shouldn't obey her at all. Similarly, any sourness from the father towards the mother won't be enacted by the child as this is pure oppression that they wish for him to disobey Allah.

    Rather, our ulama have made a distinction thusly: in servitude, the mother has precedence, whose examples we have given. And in respect, the father holds superiority as he is even the master of his mother.

    The rights of parents aren't those that can even be foregone. They are the means of a person's existence so whatever bounties, religious or worldly, he attains, it is by their virtue; because every blessing and perfection depends upon its origin and only exists due to it. So just being parents is enough to deserve a right that a person can never be free of these rights. Never mind the additional things such as their efforts in his upbringing, sacrificing their rest for his, especially the mother for carrying him in the womb, giving him birth, fostering him - the pains she bore can't be repaid.

    The conclusion is that parents are the shadow of Allah and His beloved ﷺ and manifestations of their Lordship and mercy respectively. Hence, in the Quran, Allah mentions His rights with theirs:

    ان اشكر لي ولوالديك

    It is in a hadith that a companion came to RasulAllah ﷺ and said: Ya RasulAllah ﷺ! I have carried my mother on my back for 6 miles upon a path, that if meat was placed on it, it would roast. Have I fulfilled her rights? RasulAllah ﷺ replied: maybe you have repaid her for just one contraction she had during your birth. [Mu'jam Awsat Tabrani]

    [Fatawa Ridawiyyah, 24:388-390, 401-2]

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