since it appears it is own-up time for everyone, we will rename this thread as "my story.."
just kidding.
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when we are young, we tend to be too idealistic and expect others to accept mistakes when they see it. "if i can own up, why can't they?" but as we grow older, we learn that it takes a great deal of sincerity and honesty towards one's own self, to be able to acknowledge one's mistakes and say, "hey yes. he/she is right, i should change myself."
unfortunately, most of us - except a lucky few - lose that zeal of righteousness directed inward, as we grow older. may Allah ta'ala forgive us. one of the reason why most adults cannot learn a language, when kids do it so well is because of inhibition. kids are not worried about making mistakes or worry about whether others will laugh if they say it; we adults are afraid and we remain on safe shores without learning to speak another language properly (or as it is spoken by educated native speakers).
my point is that we build imaginary fences around us; we take criticism as personal attacks and look for motives when someone tries to correct us. we start with the premise that "i am right" instead of "i think i am right, but i could be wrong" and for many it becomes a matter of prestige, defending one's own honour, in spite of glaring evidence that they are wrong. there are some who acknowledge internally that they are wrong, but continue to defend what they too know is wrong; and there are some who cannot see that they are wrong and defend vigorously, what they think is their right to defend.
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my apologies for the sermon.
yasser:
not much has changed in real life
as we grow older, we learn that it is not easy to bring a change. people are not switches that you can flip on or off; some take time, some never bother - we can only hope and pray that they see the truth.
if you hope to be a guide - that is to help people see the right way - you have to be patient and start with the assumption that nobody might listen, but still, it is my duty to tell them. if you are very lucky - and aided by Divine Light and inspiration, if you are sincere and truthful, (many other reasons some beyond your own control), you may get a huge following of people who become sincerely good.
you cannot go out to preach with the condition that: "if no one listens to me, i am coming back home to my books. if they are so intent on going to hell, let them".
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Abu hassan is supposed to be editing abdul qadirs and ghulams and others' bad manners and sarcasm before anything. The same way you edited my expression regarding naqshabandi.
aN has already said it. i have many times deleted AQ's posts and ghulam's too when i was looking. and as aN pointed out, in many cases, i don't even read it if it is a dead horse that is being flogged yet once again. AQ has been warned, both publicly and privately - and he has accepted it in the spirit of following the rules of the forum. personally, i think AQ has an intelligent argument, if he can do away with his acrid remarks.
people report though. someone reported about a brother posting his picture on the avatar; we removed it and informed the brother, who didn't know the rules. NJ's posts had to be deleted as he was openly advocating homosexuality etc. which is a tad too much for tolerance of this board. there were complaints and we had reached the limit. if NJ thinks that i deleted and banned him out of personal grudge or that i was vindictive or that unable to answer his objections, i feared that my reputation was at stake, <<shrugs>> can't help it. i couldn't do it the other way, continue to entertain him to prove my own "fairness" or "ability to face hard questions" or whatever romantic ideals people harbour.
will they say aH is a coward, incapable of answering an atheist, so much engrossed in his own self, whatever? ok. lets move on.
however, open cursing and using swear words has been off-limits to everyone. i have edited four-letter words in NJ's posts, as well as others - where i see them. sometimes, when people send la'anat on others by name, i would like to edit it, but in cases where i was involved in the debate myself, i didn't want to edit their posts to give them the feeling that i had an unfair advantage (which i do
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the point of this forum: i have already said it when we conducted the polls. the polls told us, go ahead and we upgraded it. my view is that we provide a platform for sunnis to ask and learn with a certain level of confidence that sunni viewpoint will not be deleted. polemics, is banned outright or not tolerated on other forums - for whatever reasons those owners/admins/mods may cite. we don't shy from it - and we lock the post only when the poster (whether shia or devbandi) keeps repeating the same old stuff or as is their habit, jump from one branch to another, without resolving their original objection. that is frustrating and clearly indicates that those who have come around want to cause mischief. so we lock those threads.
we could block everything - but then there is also a lot o misinformation about us sunnis which people take for granted and cite it as a universal truth: barelwis worship graves, barelwis do this, that etc. one syrian scholar (i won't name him) when i argued with him about devbandi-sunni split, that alahazrat was harsh and mistaken, and advised me to go to akram nadwi for more clarification. i told him, that it is in my own language, i don't need interpreters; but he tried to evade this by accusing alahazrat of making mistakes and that he said that "there is no zakat on paper money". i followed up by sending him a number of books and i don't know if he read them or changed his mind.
i am sure, many people see and hear such things. and those who know post here.
initially, people like myself, who had gathered some knowledge from here and there, part-timers with enough knowledge to appear knowledgeable (scratch the surface and you will find it hollow) would answer them - to the best of our limited abilities. there have been occasions where really knowledgeable posters battled it out (both from our camp and the "others") and i wish, such upcoming scholars in the UK or US, who can communicate in english use this to sharpen their skills of munazarah.
we not only tolerate, but encourage people to use pseudonyms for the reason that they can be their own selves and not worry about making mistakes. this helps them improve.
as for myself being anonymous: you might not find anything additional even if you know my real name. some of them already know it and i doubt that it has made any difference. there is nothing more to add - and you may discover that details are dull and uninteresting; just as you put it: "as a case of us simply being a bunch of low lives."
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we take some consolation that the forum is categorised in a simple manner for easy access to common folk. we encourage people to ask questions anonymously - and in that department, i don't remember having deleted any query or post (unless it spilled over to polemics, when it is usually separated from the original thread).
if you are unhappy with polemics, there are so many other forums like fiqh hadith etc. where you can participate or start threads (aN beat me to it but i will say it too anyway). and i suppose this is where, less-knowledgeable and newbies should pitch in with their contribution by asking questions.
we are open to be a discussion arm for the
seekerspath.co.uk fatwa service. brothers on that site, started it with a good intention and i guess, they haven't received support overall. may Allah ta'ala aid them and we encourage them to keep going. so if you have further questions of clarifications or objections to the seekerspath fatwa service, go ahead and post it here. look at it as a sister forum for the fatwa site.
we don't know but we assume that a few scholars visit this site. if you indeed do, and are willing to raise this forum to another level, please join in the discussions - and have your say. you do not have to answer everything - ulama have said: 'one who answers everything is mad'. if you think you can say something of benefit or correct some error, go ahead and do the favour. we can even create a special "scholar" category to differentiate qualified muftis and graduates.
of course, some will whine and object that: "if he could answer such a thing, why doesn't he answer MY objection." it is your prerogative to answer - whether you do or not, your choice of consequences.
we have been predominantly hanafi, but we won't hesitate to start forums for other madh'habs if we have people participating and writing about those madh'habs.
we believe in cooperation and working with others. we have seen that sunnaforum wants to close partially, but i guess, it is good to have another forum where people can feel comfortable.
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the choice for this forum-software was mostly the resources section. we want you to post and populate the resources section (note that upload sizes are limited, but you can hotlink it from other sites).
as of today, if an english-speaking/reading sunni asks me for resources, i have to search and send him links on various websites. we can be a link-aggregator, where you can post book links, or even article links as resources. since this is a new section, we will make rules as we go along and hopefully, in a few years, we will have mature catalogue. even links of mawlana farooq of bombay/bhiwandi in five six parts can be posted as a resource.
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wadood has a point:
The forums are meant primarily to network, gain information, inter-connect, and seek quick advice from people across the world; polemics are peripherals.
personally, i have met a few very good friends through this forum.
wa billahi't tawfiq.
