health problems

assalamu `alaykum.

we all know that wahabi gurus and their cronies have been suffering
from serious brain damage for a long time. it has been long known
that this condition is a result of incredible ignorance, phenomenal
stupidity mixed in unequal measures with devil's whisperings.

eminent doctors have been fighting this plague since the previous two
centuries. this disease hit an unnatural spike in the late 20th
century, but has been successfully contained and infact, enormous
community efforts have resulted in a significant decrease of
infections. it is also observed that the virus is polymorphic -
making itself appear in different forms in different cultures and
different names.

however, the core code of the virus is shared by all manifestations.
experts opine that the code can be picked to pieces easily revealing a
huge hollow in the victims brain. well-known symptoms are:

- crackvinylism: where the victim keeps repeating the words 'bid`ah',
'shirk' like a stuck vinyl record, no matter how much you try prodding
it further.

- illucinations: the victim has an illusion that only four or five
scholars survived the holocaust after the SaHaba. some have
hallucinations that they are reporting directly without any chain in
between.

- blindness: no matter what mountain of evidence you pile up, they
can't see it. some of the most famous cases were afflicted with
dual-blindness.(*)

- torpidisis, cretinivity.

- in advanced cases, the victim may fall to senseless rambling and
delirium. the victim may froth at the mouth (1) and tear the hair (2)
and wail that 'mushriks abound among muslims' (3)

- the victims refuse medicine and panic at the sight of a healer.

rumor has it that their professor (4) ann coulter of the nyt is
thorougly displeased (livid with rageousy?) because they are
outperforming her in slandering muslims and attempting to smear islam.

your contributions are solicited to help these poor lost souls in
salvaging them from the devil's snare.

allahumma-ihdihim ya Rabb.

footnotes:
(*) baSaarah and baSeerah: eyesight and perception.

(1) one may make the honest mistake of confusing it with rabies -
though there isn't much difference. honest.

(2) it is alright as long as it ain't yours.

(3) doctors are puzzled as to the origin of the principle that
dictates such dichotomy!

(4) long distance learning, though no degrees are awarded...because
they don't need any!