Aqdas bhai, I don't think Sarkar صلى الله عليه وسلم are being addressed at all directly in this verse.
yes, it is not right. i didn't think this is what alaHazrat meant but was asking if such a translation is permitted. i don't think it is because addressing rasulAllah sallAllahu 'alaihi wasallam in such a way sounds wrong.
Perhaps if we switch the order of the hemistichs in the translation it will be better? ---- btw i am glad when brothers correct my translations.
is this permissible? oh my life and soul [sallAllahu 'alaihi wasallam]! sense and senses; all have reached madinah won't you be going raza? everything else has long gone... --- so the jaan o dil is addressing our life and soul which is rasulAllah sallAllahu 'alaihi wasallam! perhaps not on second thoughts because he speaks of himself in the second verse.
aH: love the new translation Heart and soul, senses, sense; All Madinah gone; Tarry thou? O´ Raza commence Everything reach'd yon.
jaan o dil, hosh o khirad sab to madiney pahunchey tum nahiN chaltey raza, saara to saaman gayaa? heart and soul; sense and senses; all have reached madinah won't you be going raza? everything else has long gone... ----- heart and soul, senses, sense; all madinah gone; tarry thou? o raza commence everything reach'd yon.
yes that is the perfect translation , if you are explaining it in prose. all i said was that, in this perfect translation, the beauty of the sher is lost, you do not call Jaan o dil hosh o khird as samaan in urdu. Jaan o dil hosh o khird sab tau Madinay paunchay Tum nahin chaltay Raza saara tau saamaan gya! some ashar reach a new acme with the misra-e-sani, and this is one of them. Alahazrat :ra:, a master of words, equates the gracelessness of a traveler whose belongings have already left but he somehow doesn't, to himself, as his faculties are already in madina munawwara but he is elsewhere. the reader makes that connection, reading the sher, and is awed. all i am complaining is that you already made that connection for them, so the awe factor is lost. if for explaining you can fit faculties in the first sentence not the second. i.e. what i think. Jaan o dil hosh o khird sab tau Madinay paunchay Tum nahin chaltay Raza saara tau saamaan gya! Heart, soul, mind, intellect , faculties all, have reached Medina! Do you not go Raza? Your belongings, are all long gone! ziyadah hadd.e.adab !
:s1: khair mubarak. I used faculties to link them up with the first part of the verse which mentions heart and soul and mind and intellect: these are the ´saamaan´which has reached madina and using ´luggage´for them wasn´t appropriate in English although it works in Urdu. That´s my view anyway. A little secret: a long time ago when I first translated this naat sharif I got stuck on this verse for ages and then suddenly I got "inspiration" that saamaan should be ´faculties´in English!
Masha Allah brother - ramaDan mubarak to you. -- Jaan o dil hosh o khird sab tau Madinay paunchay Tum nahin chaltay Raza saara tau saamaan gya! Heart and soul, mind, intellect – All have reached Medina! Why Do you not go Raza? Your Faculties have long since gone! using faculties for samaan takes away from the sher the beauty of the metaphor, as in the awkwardness of a traveler whose luggage has already left but he somehow doesn't.
:s1: For Ramadan, here is a brand new translation of Sayyidina Ala Hazrat's naat, "Ni'matein baanT-ta jis simt voh zeeshan gya" by yours truly. I hope you like it. Do dua for me please all those who do like it! Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim Nimatein baanT-ta jis simt voh zeeshaan gya Saath hii munshi-e-Rahmat ka qalamdaan gya Wheresoever that Glorious One went, spreading blessings, he Was accompanied by the Divine Scribe and his his pen-case! Dil hai voh dil jo teri yaad se mamoor raha Sar hai voh sar jo tere qadmon pe qurbaan gya Only a heart brimming with Thoughts of you is a heart; a Head sacrificed at your feet Is far ahead and above! Lay khabr jald kay ghairon kii taraf dhayaan gya Mere Mawla, mere aaqa, tere qurbaan gya Hasten to me before my Thought wanders towards others My Master! My lord! May I Be your votary off’ring! Aaj lay unki panaah, aaj madad maang unsay phir na maaneingay, qayamat mein agar maan gya! Seek his refuge this very Day, today request his aid. It shall be too late, if you Ask him then on Judgment Day! Aur tum par mere aaqa kii 'inaayat na sahii Munkiro kalimah paRhaanay ka bhii ihsaan gya! And Albeit My Master’s Benevolence has not reached You. O' deniers, didn’t He favour you with the Creed? Jaan o dil hosh o khird sab tau Madinay paunchay Tum nahin chaltay Raza saara tau saamaan gya! Heart and soul, mind, intellect – All have reached Medina! Why Do you not go Raza? Your Faculties have long since gone!
