Marrying a Wahabi/ deviant

Thanks everyone. These replies have put me in little peace.
@ Brother Abu Hasan, any pdf link of izalatul aar's english version?

 

Salaam brother....It is natural that if you agree to marry one of these girls that your heart will incline towards her because she will be your wife. Then you will definitely clash when it comes to Sunni beliefs & rituals...maybe she won't make dua when a loved one passes away, refuses to cook food for khatam or Milaad or teaches your future offspring a deviant aqeeda ...you may even be convinced by her when you talk about Deen or at least say that there are no differences and all sects are correct to avoid marital discord...disaster. Have sabr and make dua for a Sunni partner and inshaAllah you will be rewarded

 

This is a good question and probably something people come across very often ..

This is what I think:
- You need to see to what extent are they in deviance? For some, it is 'Oh i like listening to Tariq Jameel Saab' and they don't know the bigger picture, whereas for others, they are staunchly believing themselves to be on truth and they will make sure you swallow it as well, e.g. beliefs such as 'The Prophet alayhisalaam is not Hazir/Nazir or aware of the actions of his nation' and other such beliefs. These are two poles you can assess the person with. However, it is not an ideal situation to be with, because some can be extremely stubborn and if they are your family relatives then it might make things tense.

- I think for now you are addressing the situation well in just rejecting the proposal entirely before things get complicated, but in case the situation arises again think about this maybe: have a few questions to ask the guy who comes with a proposal, for example, what are his views on certain matters, you can range these to be from asking about aqeeda to asking about gender roles, make sure your mum is there because she tends to forget the whole principle you're acting on, if she sees it in practice it might be clearer for her, for example, if you ask the guy who is proposing what he thinks about Ala Hazrat and he says 'I don't like him', and you say 'I see, that might make things difficult', then its like indirectly explaining to your Mum why it won't work rather than you spelling it out.
Furthermore! Some ahle hadith / tableeghi jamat folk might be more discreet regarding their beliefs and might not express them clearly (even though you know who they affiliate themselves with), for those cases it might be better to come across a matter other than aqeeda to reject the proposal e.g. we don't get along, you were uncomfortable with them, they were too uptight, they don't want to improve spiritually etc, sometimes its easier to express these 'opinions / excuses',

- Until a good Sunni person comes along, this might help you until then, but even when someoone with a good background comes, make sure you cover all the ground before agreeing

I hope this helps.

 

no, you are right. it is better to remain unmarried than be bundled with a guy with fasid aqidah.

(south-asian) girls are more attached to their parents/brothers and when the husband attacks them as 'mushriks, destined to hell' it becomes difficult for the girl to cope emotionally - to choose between husband and brothers/parents. every social gathering is a potential tinderbox, with a 'relative' threatening to wreck the peace by arguing with someone or the other.

alahazrat's izalatu'l aar is a detailed exposition of the subject on why sunni girls should never be given in marriage to wahabis or other bidyis (so long as their bid'ah is not kufr; else, the nikah is invalid).

see here (PDF link/9.6MB).

 

Assalamualaikum

Stay patient and remain firm. The only way to get through to people nowadays is by being uncompromising in matters of Shariah. If you give these people an inch, they'll take a mile. Also, make dua for a pious sunni proposal, in shaa Allah may you be given success. Your being asked to marry a deviant, assess your situation from that angle, your aqeeda is more important than your familial relations.

 

I keep coming across this problem time and again. I have discovered the Sunni Aqeedah say about 4 years ago. Me my brothers and my father are pretty firm on it. My relatives are either from tableeghi jamaat or Ahle Hadith. In this case I get marraige proposals only from them.
I can't compromise on Aqeedah, so I always deny marrying my relatives. Now this has become a problem between me and my mother. She thinks a Muslim is a Muslim. Well I keep explaining her the difference in detail, she understands, remembers for a week or 2 and then again there's a big argument when the next proposal comes because she forgets everything.
Now this keeps happening say in every 2 months.
With the belief that marriage is a sunnah act and not fardh I am at peace and I am content. To protect my Aqeedah I feel I rather remain unmarried.
Now am I being an extremist? Should I give chance to my Ahle Hadith relatives, talk to them and first ask the guy to accept the Sunni Aqeedah? I always thought this was unnecessary and refusing straight away was the right thing.
My father and my brothers support my stand of remaining unmarried and not giving non Sunni relatives a chance.
I just want confirmation that we are on the right track and I am not simply hurting my mother.
What would be the wise thing to Do?